I should have fired my therapist and hired a life coach.
Not all problems require a therapist.
Like most people I’ve faced challenging times in my life when a therapist was the best solution for me. Fortunately, I worked at companies that provided great mental health coverage, and due to the waning stigma associated with seeking professional help, I wasn’t shy to tap into those resources.
There were times in my life, however, when I felt that seeing my therapist was not addressing the issues I was facing as effectively as it had in the past. I thought I had probably overdone therapy in the same way that you can build up tolerance to medication. Eventually, and without any further insight, I threw my hands up and quit after what I perceived as many weeks without significant change in how I was feeling.
It wasn’t until years later that it finally dawned on me. I was misdiagnosing my current issues. I faced mental health challenges in the past, and seeing my therapist was the solution. Therefore, it was natural for me to apply the same solution in the present-day. The difference was that, although the symptoms were the same (low mood, frustration, confusion, boredom, lack of purpose, etc.), the root causes were different.
Sometimes you’re not in the throes of clinical depression. Sometimes you simply feel stagnate and without any real clarity or direction. A therapist will use a treatment approach called “Cognitive Behavioral Therapy" to help you identify negative thought patterns and develop coping mechanisms; however, they’re not specifically trained to help you goal plan your life. This is where coaching plays a valuable role.
If you are experiencing extremely low mood and a sense of hopelessness, you should definitely see a therapist. But if that description feels heavier than what you are experiencing, you may be someone who would benefit from hiring a coach. A coach will work in partnership with you to reflect on your strengths and weaknesses, while helping you to set goals and strategize next steps. They’re there to challenge you and any limiting beliefs you hold so that you can overcome obstacles and achieve your goals.
When I speak casually with others about life or career coaching, I sense a resistance to the idea that coaching is a legitimate value-add to one’s life. I’m able to recognize the resistance because I had experienced it at one time, too. Coaching is viewed as kitschy, self-absorbent and an unnecessary use of funds. It’s this thinking that I believe keeps people from discovering how effective coaching is. It’s the reason why I defaulted to therapy, when I really just needed a mentor.
If you’re still weighing in your mind whether coaching is the right fit for you. Consider the following situations in which a professional coach can be hugely influential:
1. Dealing with a toxic work environment, including a “bad” boss.
2. You’re on autopilot and not making choices that truly align with who you are, especially in career-related situations.
3. You aren’t sure of your strengths and how to best leverage them for success.
4. You have a big vision you want to accomplish, but you’re not sure how to break the vision down into actionable steps.
If you’re experiencing any of the above situations, I encourage you to check with your employer to see if they are running a company-wide tuition reimbursement program. These funds are most often claimed by employees to pay learning course tuition; however, some employers allow employees to use the funds in other ways such as to pay for a professional coaching service (if the coaching service improves your work performance).
Whether you determine a therapist, or a coach is right for you, know that at the end of the day both coaches and therapists have unique and important roles. Life and career coaches are ideal for goal setting, achieving personal and professional milestones, and unlocking your potential. On the other hand, a therapist will employ Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques to help you cope with difficult emotions but will be less focused on strategizing for the future. Choose the professional that aligns with your current needs and future aspirations to ensure that you are getting the type of support you need!
Still have questions regarding whether life, career and success coaching is for you? Feel free to reach out to me at florence@careersparkxflorence.com and we can discuss in detail which approach is best for you and your objectives.
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